This time, I died in autumn

I die in every season in Kashmir.
I wake up to the chirps of birds that fly up over the cherry trees; to the scent of beauteous flowers and to the fuss of children leaving home to play cricket.
The unique first rays of the spring sun drive me to the mustard fields where my beloved is waiting amidst the buzz of bees. Ah! It’s charm all round.
I am seldom reminded of the cruel winter that just passed by and I ignore every fact of my existence thanks to father’s words,”It will not happen again. Live positive.”
I tend to forget what happened in the winter when Maqbool and Afzal were murdered, when Zahid and Wamiq were taken away from me and when Tahir was fired from point-blank range. I remember the night when I vanished in darkness running for my life. Winter has been very cruel and I try to live to the fullest the spring of love and hope.
I hope to continue with the charm and a lovely climate is awaited. Serene lakes, ripened fruits, bright meadows is what describes me. I bunk my classes to go for ‘apple-picking’.
They tell me,”Summers are harsh everywhere except Kashnir.”
But I die again as ‘The Stone Age’ begins. This time I do not have count of how many I lose. I lose them in Tufail and Nisar, Rafiq and Bashir, Suhail and Hilal. I die for it does not matter who I am. I may be Khan, I may be Peer, I may be Dar, I may be Mir, I may be Sheikh, I may be Rather, I may be Wani, I may be Mattoo, I may be Syed, I may be Shah. Doesn’t matter!
Autumn is awaited and I tie up my cricket kit. I go across South Kashmir, I move towards Srinagar City, I come back to the cricket stadium of my town because I do not want to miss any action.
I get to home late in the evening on the roof of a bus and I have every right to defend my late coming to the home thanks to the trophy I have won.
I get up again to capture the gold across ‘Char Chinari’. I want to cherish the lovely autumn fall across Polo View in Srinagar.
I take my dad’s car to get my hair cut in the evening and on may way, a doomsday occurs that I cannot witness myself. I am told about it by the Hoors in the Paradise. This time, I leave in Faisal and Mehraj.
I am a human. I hope again. I hope for a warm winter, under siege it may be.
I die again…
There is no end to my death
I die everyday
I die in the season of autumn
I die everyday.

(Published here- )


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